Of Wanting and Waiting and Winning

video clip  from HIMYM S04E23

Song by  Michelle  Featherstone  (Careful)

Love is a cliche we never get tired of. Maybe that's because we never really understand it. Or maybe it's ourselves that we don't understand after all. Maybe we are constantly in search of what kind of love we want, of how we plan to get it, and why we plan to keep it. Perhaps some have found the answers through the act of loving or maybe they're like me and a million others: simply hypothesizing. 

Love always deals with well-deserved happily ever afters. Maybe that's where it all gets confusing. Cause love starts not with a couple finding each other, but with an individual finding himself. Love is a good story. And just like every story, it has a prologue-- something that explains and causes the main events. And these two, for me, are of equal importance.

Wanting.

To want something is to realize that you don't have it but you would like to have it. Maybe not now, maybe not soon, but surely one day you would like to take a hold of it and own it. 

To acknowledge that you want something is to be brave enough to accept the fact that you feel  incomplete, that something is missing. And you feel it day after day til a simple want becomes  a necessity. Constantly wanting something leads to needing it. And to need something is to understand that though you might never have it, you still want it.

You can go your whole life convincing yourself you don't want or need love. Or you can risk getting hurt and be open to the idea that maybe, just maybe, love (no matter  how insignificant you think it is), is the missing piece of  jigsaw puzzle that would  complete your life.

Waiting.

To wait is to believe that not everyone is worth the risk. It means being patient for the arrival of someone you deserve. Sure there are a lot of fish in the sea.  But you can't catch them all just because they're there. When you keep on filling your boat, there might be no more room for the right fish when it arrives. I'm not saying believe in the whole "The One" thing.  Some people get it right the first time  around. Maybe you're one of the lucky "some." But if you're not, nothing's bad with the classic trial and error. Just make sure that the wrong ones, though they are not IT, they are a lot like it. 

Secondly, to wait does not only mean to wait for the "right person" but to wait for the "right time" as well. So many people get this concept wrong. By right time, I do not mean wait til you finish college, find a work, invest on some properties (though that would be ideal). What I mean is that before you go and search for your person, make sure you, yourself, is a person worth searching for. Make sure that the person you think you deserve.. deserves you as well.

Winning.

To win is to work hard. And hard work entails sacrifices which adds more value to the thing being desired. The more you work hard for something, the higher your degree of satisfaction is when the thing desired is already at hand.

Nonetheless, it is important to note that to win is not simply to have what you've wanted and waited for. Sure, we all deserve what we've worked hard for,  but the thing is, what we've worked hard for should be worth all our time, efforts, and sacrifices. It should make us happy in the end. 

Love is about wanting it, waiting for it, and winning it. You go from there.

Cheers!

photo from http://1ms.net/change-colors-artistic-posted-120379.html | text by tine magpayo

Cheers

by Christine Magpayo

Cheers for yesterday!
Be happy for all things gone
that somehow stayed
through photographs, or notes,
or occasional trips
down the memory lane.
Good or bad, they had been
and will always be yours.

Cheers for now--
The most overlooked and forgotten
element of time
you use to recall and plan.
Wasted or worthwhile, it is
and will always be part of your destiny.

Cheers for tomorrow--
The place where where good old dreams
have the chance to turn into realities
And where broken promises
would probably come to fulfilment
in another form or so.
Be it grand or not,
It has always been up to you.

Past, Present and Future
Are gifts men often do not know how to handle.
People usually forget
That Past must not only be accepted,
but also respected;
That Present is not only
a bridge between Past and Future,
but also a moment that deserves
to be payed attention to and to be cherished.
May we never forget
That future must not be feared,
Instead, looked forward to.

To what was,what is, and what will be,
Cheers!

Let "child I" live

photo from  http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/may/04/le-petit-prince-pages-auction

I have arrived at a frightening conclusion that I just might be a murderer, and that each person around me or even someone far away from me is one, too. Even you.

Don’t get me wrong. One does not need knives, guns, or nuclear bombs to be a murderer. Sometimes, without one knowing it, one has already killed. Sure, we don’t stab people or shoot them, or make their bodies explode. Maybe we are not physically hurting anyone. But we kill hopes and dreams, even our own. Is that so much of a difference?

This realization came to me when, in our creative writing class, we were told to recall our favorite story as a child and try to change its ending. I picked Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s “The Little Prince.” I chose to disregard the 27th chapter, the last one, and to replace it with an epilogue.

This is what I wrote:

“I have a confession to make. There was no desert; there was no other planet that was the home of a talking rose; there was no little prince. Better put, I was the little prince.

“Everything existed in my mind. The ‘child I’ was the little prince talking to the lost navigator that is the ‘I now.’ If the theory of the multiverse is indeed true, and if the ‘child I’ would be able to meet the ‘I now,’ he would be disappointed. He would remind me of things I was sure of—things I believed in and things I loved. Faith and feelings are nothing but empty words now. Certainly, I am not what he envisioned himself to be.

“There were times when I let the little prince lead me. It is funny how he seems to know where to go and how to go about things more than I could. Only the children know what they are looking for, right? Somehow, it reassures me to say that I was once a kid. We all were. But growing up is inevitable and in the process, most of us have lost our identities. We let ourselves be defined by people who don’t really matter. We allow ourselves to be consumed by the world that is only concerned with wealth, fame and power. The world is a big poisonous snake—when it bites you, you’re dead. I let the little prince die in the same way you killed the happy child in you. We murder dreams and later on complain about dissatisfaction. Then we blame everything and everyone but ourselves without realizing that this is a choice we’ve made. This is our sad reality and this will be the reality of all people if we let it be this way.

“Do me a favor. Tell and retell this story to every child you know. Tell them to look at themselves carefully so that they will be sure to recognize it even after many years. It might be too late for us but not for them. I am writing this note under the laughing stars and I know somewhere, my star is shining bright. The little prince, the ‘child I,’ is proud of me.”

What made me want to change the ending this way is the symbolism I found in the story. Take, for example, the character of the little prince. He embodies every child—he loves adventures, tries to make sense of everything, and believes that one can find a true friend in a flower or a wild animal, then allows himself to get attached to them. These are obviously non-adult things. A grownup is too busy worrying, is hopelessly agreeing to what others tell him to do, and is pitifully detaching himself from matters of real importance. Such is the attitude of the lost and stranded navigator.

Life’s like a plane; adults are like careless pilots. The pilot takes control and becomes more and more confident as the plane gets higher and higher. He tries to maintain a specific height from the ground. Then he realizes he forgot the map and now he doesn’t know his destination and then he starts to panic. It turns out that the good takeoff was just part of the whole projectile motion. If he’s lucky enough, he’d be alive somewhere he never wanted to be at, with his plane that’s too damaged to be fixed.

Life’s like that. It turns out to be a piece of junk when it crashes. As far as reaching one’s dream is concerned, skill and direction should go together. It is not enough that one knows what one should be doing; it is also important that one knows where one is going. Although here’s the thing: Skill and direction don’t usually come in a complete package. The first is a grownup’s possession, the latter is a kid’s. For this reason, it is highly significant that you let the child in you live.

But why do you choose to leave that dreaming child behind? Why do you prefer to let him die? Maybe it’s this: We don’t want to be reminded of the things we’ve come to believe that we can’t have. Some say dreams are for carefree children who don’t have to pay the monthly bills; they are for people who don’t have many responsibilities. Maybe the truth is, it really hurts us inside to realize that what seemed to be so real and close when we were young are too distant now. Our dreamt realities from yesterday have become the impossibilities of today and tomorrow. We silently mourn the loss, and consciously or unconsciously encourage others to do likewise. We kill dreams; we murder what could have become real.

If you happen to meet the younger you, what can possibly happen? Two things I can think of: He/she will tell you how proud he/she is for you, or he/she will give you a warm, comforting hug and whisper, “Go on. Fix your plane. It’s never too late.”

Are you still preparing for takeoff? Make sure to bring everything that you truly need. Did your plane already crash right before your eyes? Get up and don’t lose hope. If you don’t want to stay where you landed, start figuring out where you’d rather be. If you’re finally sure of where that place is, make a move. Do it now.

article originally published in 

http://opinion.inquirer.net/40680/let-child-i-live

Awake, My Love, Awake

photo from www.fanpop.com/spots/my-dream-is/images/23899892/title/live-dreams-photo

Awake, My Love, Awake

by Christine Magpayo

Awake, my love, awake

Before time devours you.

Before it is too late,

Awake, my love, awake.

My love is beautiful,

But nonetheless asleep.

Bereft of any movement,

She seems to be half-dead.

My love is my dream—

That old forgotten one.

But now that I remember,

I hope she’s not yet gone.

My love, she must not die.

But if she does,

I know I am at fault;

The blame is all on me.

I’ve been a friend of fear,

A slave of stupidity.

If giving up is all I know,

What will I come to be?

Awake, my love, awake

Before time devours you.

Before it is too late,

Awake, my love, awake.

Without my dream, I’d be

Like most people are—

Existing but not living,

Smiling but secretly mourning.

My dream, please forgive me,

For being so unkind,

For knowing that I need you,

Yet leaving you behind.

Now my fear is that you’d be

Like slowly vanishing froth.

My dream, disappearing,

Is such a morbid thought.

Please just stay and don’t elude,

For I’ll be on my way.

This time I’ll be embracing you,

But for now listen to what I’ll say.

Awake, my love, awake

Before time devours you.

Before it is too late,

Awake, my love, awake.

Where Heaven Meets Earth

photo from http://www.visualphotos.com/image/2x3402686/chairs_on_a_sunset_beach

Where Heaven Meets Earth

by Christine Magpayo

I watch the sun kiss the sea;

The waters embrace its fading light.

They seem to come together

Even if they're really far apart.

Illusions...  Oh, how beautiful!

I remember you sharing

Your dreams of being able to fly,

Of wanting to see the world.

And now you can with a bird's eye view.

Realities... Oh, how painful!

What are you doing up there?

Maybe you're jumping from cloud to cloud.

Maybe you're dancing, gliding,

Laughing and playing with the angels.

I guess you're in a better place.

Will you come and visit me?

Will you please let the wind bring you back

To the  place where you said "Yes--"

The place where I had you and lost you?

The grains of sand witnessed it all.

Were you that conservative?

The priest said: "You may now kiss the bride."

I kissed you and you fainted,

Never opening your eyes again.

T'was wonderful, our first and last.

Are you still in your white dress?

And...  were you allowed to keep the ring?

Oh God you looked alluring

Even with a few strands of hair left.

Do they call you Mrs. up there?

Do you know that you're my wife?

Can you remember all that we had--
Courting you, rejecting me,
Not giving up in pursuing you,
And finally accepting me?

Images of me, of us,

Of  worthwhile memories that have passed,
Do you still have them with you?
Do you still hold them close like I do?

Does death require one to forget?

Even if you've forgotten,

I swear that I'll always remember,

Cause though you cry like a kid,

Nag like my mom, demand like my boss,

You are and will always be loved.

Forever can start with loss
But I know ours is perpetuity,
Love that's immeasurable.
For me, our eternity goes on.
The story of us continues.

In my mind you are alive.

That's where I'll love you and you'll love me back.

Love makes Heaven and Earth meet.

That's why even though you're gone,

You're still my lady and I'm your man.

Maybe Today

photo from deviantart.com

Maybe Today

by Christine Magpayo

Maybe today you'll find the one...
Maybe today is the day you'd meet your man.
If so then, what do you do?
Would you rush and tell him:
"Hey! Would you believe me if I say I think we look perfect together?"
"Do you believe in love at first sight? I just did."
"Is it okay if I get your number and we go out? I'm harmless."
Maybe today you'll bump  into a stranger you feel is right for you...
And you'll choose to  keep silent
And end  up not having your long-waited once upon a time.

Maybe today you'll realize that "the one"
has been there all  along--
a  classmate offering you his pen each time you forget yours,
an orgmate bossing you around but ends up  helping you out,
or a friend constantly teasing you how fat and ugly and GC you are.
If so then what do you do?
Would you wait for the right time and say
"Hey! maybe we can go to the next level?"
Or maybe"I would just like to  confirm...
Do you like me? I just might like you too."
Maybe today you'll feel a different feeling for someone..
And you'll choose to ignore it and let things be the way they've always been.
Maybe you're a "once upon a time" person but not a "happily ever after"  type.

Maybe today... maybe until today
You still believe that destiny will work things out for you.
Maybe up until now you're thinking that your man
is finding his way to you.
What if you're wrong?
What if he has arrived and you just haven't recognize him?
What if he's still trapped in the wrong relationship?
What if your man doesn't believe in love?
And you're there waiting for him to perform all  the  "signs."
Say what? Fate is like tooth fairy or Santa Claus...
Doesn't exist!
Sometimes, you really have to work things out for yourself.

Maybe today, you have someone
And you know he's the one...
And you can have him love you until tomorrow...
And the next day... and the next day...
And the day after that... and so on.
Maybe you can't do the same thing for him.
Maybe you'll choose to let him go.
Maybe it's fine; maybe it's not;
maybe it's better that way.

Maybe today you'll realize that love is beautiful
but you don't need it.
Maybe today you'll make it clear that you want love for other people
but not for yourself.
Maybe today you'll watch someone watch over you.
Maybe today you'll feel loved
and part of you will desperately want to love back,
But you can't...
You feel like you shouldn't.
Maybe it's painful; maybe it'll be less painful this way.

Maybe today you'll encounter love
and you'll leave it behind.
And maybe tomorrow you'll feel the loss
and you'll break your heart.

Making Miracles

The 'message in a bottle' was given by my org buddy/friend. This is  one of my
most-valued presents since the letter contains so much. Thank you, buddy.

Who writes what and who finds that? 

Who creates the link between separate beings? 

What can bind people together until the end? 

Do your thing. Do what you think you should do even if you're not sure of what you should be doing. Do nothing if it seems to be the right thing to do. Hide emotions; confess feelings. Do whatever you feel the situation calls for. Hurt and allow yourself to get hurt. Believe that things will get better.  We're all human and we're all subject to feel pain. Love and be loved. Stay when you have to stay and leave when you have to leave. It's cliche but it's still worth saying: Everything a happens for a reason. Let the reason unfold one day. Right now, do your thing.

You have to do your thing because you can't stay still while the whole world moves on. Do anything. Be it something worthwhile, be it something stupid, just do it. By doing something, you're making a miracle for yourself and maybe for other  people as well. All the things you've done in the past and all the things you're doing now will lead you to better places, to better people, and to better perspectives.

Who writes what and who finds that? 

Who creates the link between separate beings? GOD does.

What can bind people together until the end? FAITH.

“There are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them. Sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one’s cheek. But the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do a future that is impossible to ignore.”

-Nicholas Sparks, Messagein a Bottle